you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
