Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed

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(415): View more from California

Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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(415): View more from California

we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.

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(816): View more from Missouri

believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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(406): View more from Montana

I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.

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