You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.