I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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