Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha

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(702): **** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha http://tfl.nu/p7u5

Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (770)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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(225): walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans. http://tfl.nu/3s10

Replies (24) Good night (5297) Bad night (941)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq

Replies (15) Good night (5709) Bad night (1899)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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(443): He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him http://tfl.nu/8x14

Replies (19) Good night (1479) Bad night (4187)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny

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(580): She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny http://tfl.nu/sg6f

Replies (12) Good night (1216) Bad night (3391)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(306): But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances http://tfl.nu/e227

Replies (4) Good night (2292) Bad night (863)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

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(720): I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis http://tfl.nu/ymdq

Replies (22) Good night (5843) Bad night (1039)
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(716): View more from New York

i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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(716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz

Replies (6) Good night (2181) Bad night (979)
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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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(816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o

Replies (1) Good night (1403) Bad night (648)
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(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.

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(473): Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year. http://tfl.nu/y5js

Replies (11) Good night (2529) Bad night (1108)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.

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(+61): We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away. http://tfl.nu/e1yg

Replies (10) Good night (2412) Bad night (802)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.

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(208): Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex. http://tfl.nu/ah09

Replies (3) Good night (1381) Bad night (956)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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(410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko

Replies (16) Good night (814) Bad night (2260)
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(406): View more from Montana

That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!

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(406): That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face! http://tfl.nu/7j4j

Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (562)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.

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(215): It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics. http://tfl.nu/pu5z

Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (190)

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