Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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  (703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9
  Replies (15) Good night (745) Bad night (888)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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  (347): Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service. http://tfl.nu/eqpl
  Replies (117) Good night (4621) Bad night (1664)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

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  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2669) Bad night (761)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

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  (+31): I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew. http://tfl.nu/u42t
  Replies (14) Good night (3068) Bad night (1238)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.

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  (701): I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot. http://tfl.nu/vxu1
  Replies (9) Good night (4370) Bad night (1035)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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  (423): no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet. http://tfl.nu/ph90
  Replies (10) Good night (2894) Bad night (1292)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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  (806): Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes. http://tfl.nu/kfeu
  Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (627)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.

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  (+61): Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you. http://tfl.nu/q4u2
  Replies (13) Good night (2227) Bad night (674)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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  (651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj
  Replies (2) Good night (1371) Bad night (510)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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  (401): Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool. http://tfl.nu/duy9
  Replies (7) Good night (2115) Bad night (808)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?

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  (563): Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him? http://tfl.nu/taqh
  Replies (5) Good night (1680) Bad night (480)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over

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  (386): I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over http://tfl.nu/gegy
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (419)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.

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  (508): I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp. (303): Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex. http://tfl.nu/y0zv
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (304)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago

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  (440): Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago http://tfl.nu/7mtt
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (490)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???

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  (864): YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME??? http://tfl.nu/r2h4
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (101)

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