the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
