I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
