I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
