VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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