But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
