so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
