I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
