someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
