Im at strip club and am horny
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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