but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize