Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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