is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
