Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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