We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize