If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
