No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
