i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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