grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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