what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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