i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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