I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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