Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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