Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
