I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
