How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
