how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
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There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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