we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
