DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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