So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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