he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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