I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
