I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
