so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
