Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
