That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
