My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
