found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent