she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water