well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My dick has a subreddit