oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.