why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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