Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
