Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
