And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
