You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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