We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pooping to opera.
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