if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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