Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
