can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
