Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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