You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize