sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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