i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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