So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize