Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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