You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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