then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
