would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
